


Carpe Diem

by storytilli



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Boyfriends, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Romance, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storytilli/pseuds/storytilli
Summary: The Marauders are in their 6th year at Hogwarts. The story follows Remus  and Sirius as they begin to discover new things about themselves (aka their sexualities). Coming of age and coming out story.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Train

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you have any suggestions or questions. Will try to update regularly :)

Remus Lupin sat in the train compartment he had picked out 30 minutes ago. Due to his excitement of starting his 6th year at Hogwarts and seeing his friends again he had come to the train station early, having been unable to sit at home any longer. 

He was staring out of the compartment window intensley watching the passing crowd desperately searching for any signs of his friends. 

Sirius had spent the past 3 weeks at the Potter's and Peter lived ont the same street as James, so Remus knew they would all be arriving together. He quickly shoved away the small twinge of jealousy that always accompanied the thought of all of his friends having spent the past couple weeks without him. 

The jealousy quickly disappeared as he perked up, having cought a black leather jacket in the middle of the crowd. He slumped back down in disappointment as he discovered that it had been some 7th year. 

Suddenly, he shot up out of his seat and stood in the middle of his train compartment, frozen. He stood there intently listening for the slightest sounds. His amplified werewolf hearing enabling him to hear a million different sounds. From the chattering in the compartment next to his, to the tearful goodbyes of families out on the platform, he closed his eyes and concentrated. 

Because those weren't the sounds he was focusing on. As he closed his eyes he began focusing on the voices he could hear off in the far distance at the far end of the corridor belonging to three boys. He stood there for another 5 seconds listening to the voices slowly come closer, not wanting to get too excited until he was sure. 

Remus was off, sprinting out the compartment and down the train corridor, carelessly pushing and shoving other students out of the way and leaving a trail of complaints in his wake. 

\--------- 

There was a lot of commotion up ahead. James glanced back at him and Peter. 

"Wonder what thats all about" 

Sirius shrugged at James's statement. 

"I guess we'll find out soon. Whatever it is, its coming closer". 

He peered over his friends shoulder, curiously trying to see where the shouts were coming from. The train corridor was rather full so it was hard to tell what had everyone so bothered. 

Suddenly, James let out a yell of joy, the words coming out of his mouth being indecipherable. As Sirius tried to figure out what had caused this outburst, something, or rather someone, barreled into the three of them. 

They landed in a heap on the floor, legs and arms everywhere. At first Sirius was confused as to who had so rudely decided to run them over but then the smell hit him and noticed that he had a face full of soft brown hair. It was Moony. He began smiling. 

\--------- 

Remus hadn't actually meant to run his friends over. But while sprinting towards them he had decided that he was simply too lazy to try and slow down. So here he was sprawled across the three of them, his long limbs tangled everywhere. 

After enjoying the moment for a couple of seconds he sheepishly peeled himself away and offered a hand to James, helping him up. 

"Moony, we missed you" said James engulfing him in a hug. 

Sirius who was brushing some dust off his jacket was laughing. 

"Leave it to Moony to have such a dramatic entrance, im pretty sure the entire corridor is thinking about sending a hex your way." 

Remus chuckled. 

"Come on lets find a compartment so I can sit down. Im pretty sure I just bruised something" Peter grumbled, not as amused with Remus's antics as the other two. 

"Alright then, follow me" Remus said leading the way with a broad grin on his face. 

He led the four of them back to the compartment he had saved, purposefully ignoring all the glares that were being sent his way. With the adrenaline still pumping through his veins he didn't care in the slightest, even flashing some grins to some of the more dishevelled looking student who he had clearly run over. 

They reached their compartment and the boys threw themselves over the seats, instantly trading stories from their respective summers. Remus listened intently to the others, silently hoping that if they told him enough of their stories it would feel like he had been there with them. 

\----------- 

"Merlin. I swear that ceremony was a lot longer than usual. It was so boring it gave me a headache" James complained as they made their way up to the dorms. 

"Agreed" Sirius said, nodding. 

"I just want to go to bed at this point, need to get as much sleep as we can before classes start again". Peter sounded irritated at the idea of having to work again. 

Remus nodded in agreement alongside of Sirius and James. In truth he was looking forward to beginning the school year. It wasn't necessarily because he enjoyed the work, but because classes and homework were the best distraction he had from the upcoming event. Although the full moon was still 17 days away, he was alrwady beginning to worry about it. He pushed these thoughts away as they entered the Gryffindor common room. 

Sirius, who had walked in first, surveyed the red and gold common room and turned around to the other boys. 

"Isn't it nice to be back. Come on lads, whoever reaches the dorm first gets to pick where they want to sleep" 

The four of them were instantly off, racing up the steps of the boys tower. The students they passed all looked slightly annoyed, but most of them had already gotten used to their shenanigans by now. Panting and out of breath they reached their dorm room. 

"Yes, victory is mine" James yelled. 

"Prick" was Sirius's reply. 

"Prat" Peter added on. 

James stood in the doorway gloating slightly and assesing the room. Remus rolled his eyes at this. He already knew James was going to pick one of the beds in the middle. Unlike Remus, he liked being the center of attention. 

"Well lads, I think I am going to have to go with that one". He pointed to the second bed from the left, one of the middle ones. 

After James picked his prize the other three argued for a bit about who was getting the other beds. After some bickering they finally setlled on an order. From left to right it would be Peter, James, Sirius, and then Remus. Remus was quite satisfied with this. Being on the side meant he'd get some peace and quiet. 

As the four of them got ready for bed the three of them contiued to supply Remus with stories lf their summer break. The conversation, however, was interupted for a couple of minutes as Peter was chased around by James who was threatening to spit his toothpaste at him. Sirius and Remus spent the time laughing at Peter and James from a safe distance. 

Close to midnight they had finally calmed down and the dorm had fallen peacefully silent. Remus picked up his wand ready to close the curtains around his bed, but he paused when he caught a movement in his right eye. 

Sirius had turned over and was staring intently at him. 

"Hey moony" Sirius whispered quietly. 

It had been so quietly in fact, that Remus could only pick up on it because of his hightened hearing. Sirius didnt want the others hearing this Remus realized with a jolt. 

"Yeah?" 

"I um" he paused "I was just wondering if your summer was alright. You kind of just let James ramble on and on about ours and you really didn't say much." 

"My summer was okay" 

"We're the full moons alright too?" 

"Yeah, they were alright" 

"Okay, thats good. Good night Rem" 

"Good night Padfoot" 

Remus muttered a quick spell and the curtains drew close around bed. He pulled his blanket further up and made himself comfortable. After a couple of seconds he heard Sirius do the same. 

It wasn't until 20 minutes later when Remus was seconds before drifting away that he realized Sirius had called him Rem earlier. Huh he thought to himself no one's ever called me that before. Before he could think about it any further, he was asleep


	2. Hogsmead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment suggestions or questions you have :)

Sirius sighed, looking up from his potions homework to watch the others. It was only the second week of school but he was already way too bored by all of his classes. Reluctantly they had all let themselves be dragged into the library by Remus to finish up on their work. Sirius, however, only had two inches keft at this point and was slowly getting bored. 

He ripped off a small corner of his parchment, crumpled it up into a ball and sat back. Contemplating his three targets he finally picked Remus and threw the little ball at him. 

"Hey" Remus protested 

"Im bored. Can't we finish this up some other time? Its friday" 

"But if we finish it today we can spend all of tomorrow at Hogsmead" Peter explained without looking up. 

Sirius glanced at James, his last hope, but James seemed resigned to finishing his work now. 

With a last glance at Remus, Sirius gave up and continued working. 

\---------- 

Remus woke up with the sun on his face. He rooled over looking across the room to see if any of his friends were already awake. They weren't. 

Lying there he began thinking about the next couple of days. The full moon was this Tuesday. He already begun to feel very uneasy the past two nights, his mood becoming more irregular and his temper becoming more and more uncontrollable. 

He swung himself out of bed and yawned quickly before picking up his wand. He muttered a quick spell and water began shooting out of his wand. 

"Breakfast lads!" he yelled. 

Shouts and surprised yelps erupted from the three beds he had just soaked. 

"Oi you prick" James said having just gotten up "couldn't think of a nicer way to wake us? Maybe one that didn't involve water" 

"Ah, but this way is so much more enjoyable for me" Remus replied with a huge grin "also you lot stink, so I thought I'd give you a hand. This way you wont have to shower anymore and we can go down and eat" 

"We'll see how long you'll find his funny. Tomorrow im going to be doing the waking up" Sirius said in a threatening tone. 

Remus just laughed "Come on, I really am starving. The wolfs been having some cravings" 

At this the others shut up and got dressed. Together they walked down to the great hall and sat down at the gryffindor table. 

Remus instantly began shoving heaps of bacon and eggs into his mouth. At this time of the month his meal times became less and less dignified. 

"Oh wow" James interupted Remus's inhaling of the food. 

Remus swiveled around in his seat to see what James was starring at, although he could already take a very good guess at what the answere was. Lilly Evans was walking down the great hall, heading staright towards them. 

James visbaly behan panicking, his face turning read and breaking out into a sweat. Sirius rolled his eyes at his friends reaction. 

"Hey Remus" Lilly said, only nodding at the others "I was wondering if I could talk to you about the Charms homework" 

"Yeah sure" Remus replied "sit down". 

Lilly and her friend Marlene McKinnon sat down next to him. Lilly began explaing what she had issues with while Marlene instantly dived into conversation with Sirius. 

He had been friends with Lilly for a while now, her having figure out his furry littlle problem at the end of 3rd year. He wasn't as close with Marlene but enjoyed her company. 

Remus glanced over at Sirius who was still talking to Marlene. Frowning, he turned back to Lilly. I didn't know those two were friends. A strange feeling began to creep through him but he pushed it away before he could think anything of it. 

\-------- 

"Lads, I'm going to head into that store real quick" Sirius said pointing at a small clothing store at the end of the road "I need some new gloves" 

"Good idea" Remus agreed "I've been meaning to get some new jumpers, I've been growing out of mine really fast" 

Although he was already 16 Sirius marvelled at how he always seemed to keep growing. He had went from the smallles in the group at the beginning of first year to the tallest. 

"Alright, Peter and I are going to already head to Honeydukes. Meet you guys there?"

They said their goodbyes and began heading in opposite directions. Sirius sighed gratefully as they entered the warm Shop. A rather old, but kind looking woman walked towards them with a smile. 

"What can I do for you young lads". 

Remus began explaining what he wanted and making small talk tonthe clerk. He stopped focusing on the conversation and wandered around the shop. 

He was looking at the shelf of gloves as an intense shot of pain wnment up his side. Wincing, he turned around to make sure Remus hadn't noticed. 

He had decided against telling his friends how those two weeks at his house had been and had been avoiding all of their questions. They had thankfully understood and had stopped pestering him about it. 

He gripped his right side by his ribs. There, he could still fee the aftermath of the curse that had hit him. 

Usually his family was careful. They didn't want to scar their perfect boy. They didn't want to scar their heir. 

But that had changed this summer. The minute that curse had hit him he knew it was different. He knew that his father wasn't being careful. 

It had been a creative way of letting Sirius know that he was being disowned and now he had a mark on his body to remind him of that for the rest of his life. 

Ripping himself out of that dark place in his head he turned around. Remus had evidently gone into one of the changing rooms because he was no longer standing where Sirius had left him. 

He walked towards the changing room and sat down in one of the chairs there. 

A movement caught his eye. Although Remus had pulled the curtain closed, he had accidentally left a crack open. Sirius sharply inhaled as he watch Remus take his shirt off and unbare his naked back. 

Scars. The scars were everywhere. Sirius knew that the wolf did horrible things to his friend, but since they had all learned how to become animagi the wolf hadnt hurt himself anymore. 

All of these scars were old ones, but due to Remus's habit of coviering up all the time, it had been years since he had properly seen them. 

A feeling of sadness and understanding flooded his body. He views them as imperfections, he doesn't think that those pale silver lines that gracefully wrap themselves around his body are beautiful he realized. 

At least im not the only one who has scars he thought to himself while gripping his side again. At least im not the only one who's broken. 

\-------- 

Remus contiued throwing glances at Sirius throughout the rest of their shopping as well as their walk back up to school. He had gone strangely quiet and Remus was beginning to worry. 

As James rambled on about Lilly and the fact that she had looked at him twice today, Remus fell into step beside Sirius. 

"Hey" he said softly. 

"Hey" 

"I was just wondering if everything was alright. You've been awfully quiet today. I kinda miss hearing your voice." 

Sirius chuckled softly and glanced up at Remus. There was a look of saddnes and something else that Remus couldn't quite place in his eye. 

"So, is everything alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine" 

"You're being awfully convincing you know" Remus replied with a sarcastic tone. 

"Its nothing really. Stuff with my family has been bothering me again, thats all." 

There were a couple seconds of silence as Remus thought of a reply. 

"You know thats not nothing right? I know that in the Black family issues like these are ignored and constantly dismissed but dont do that with me okay?" 

Sirius glanced up at Remus, their eyes meeting. 

"You're family has been horrible to you and you need to know that it's okay to be upset and angry at them. You don't need to pretend you're doing fine when you're not." 

He had stopped walking and was turning to face Sirius who had stopped as well. 

"Don't pretend with me" he whispered softly " Please Padfoot. Never pretend with me" 

Sirius was staring at him intently. Something dark and sad forming behind his eyes. Remus wanted nothing more than to grab Sirius and hide him away. Away from his family and from school, until that dark look had faded away. 

"Okay Rem, I won't pretend with you, I promise" 

A jolt went through Remus. There it was again, the new nickname. 

"Come on" he grabbed Sirius by the arm and started dragging them towards the Gryffindor tower "lets go cheer you up".


	3. Marlene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of confusing thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment any suggestions or questions :)

Remus groaned in pain. Although the transformation had been a night ago he was still unbelievably sore. 

He had been kept in the hospital since he had woken up in the shrieking shack, this transformation having been one of the worst ones in the past couple of months. He had broken his arm in three places while transforming back. 

The nurse noticed that he was awake and made her way over, handing him multiple potions to drink. 

"Now, I am going to allow you to head back to your dorm but only if you promise me you wont go to your morning classes. The afternoon ones are fine." 

Remus groaned. He really hated missing so much school. 

"Im going to have to hear it." 

"Fine. I promise" 

"Good. I've told your herbology teacher not to expect you today so I will find out if you decide to disobey me" she said sternly. 

With that she walked off and left Remus alone. He got up very slowly, wincing slightly as he did so, and started walking to the Gryffindor tower. 

He reached the dorm and it was blessedly empty. The others were all at breakfast. Due to the exhausting walk, he fell onto his bed and dozed off. 

\---------- 

"Moony!" 

Remus jerked awake. It was Sirius. 

"Hey Padfoot" 

"Why didn't you let us know you were coming back this morning. We would have helped you wak here. We know how exhausted you get after the moon" 

"Oh it was fine. I didn't want you guys to miss breakfast. Speaking of missing things why aren't you heading to class. You're going to be late."

"Oh I forgot my book" Sirius said, flashing Remus a grin before grabbing the book. 

"Alright well bugger off. I need my beauty sleep." Remus muttered closing his eyes again. 

"No you don't" Sirius whispered softly and hurriedly left the room. 

He had whispered it so softly that Remus was only able to make it out because it was so close to the moon. His hearing was especially good then. 

Confused, he considered what he had just heard. 

Was he trying to imply that I'm beautiful? 

He almost laughed at that ridiculous idea. While shaking his head, he drew the curtains closed aroud him and dosed off. 

\----------- 

Sirius was still slightly blushing as he left the Gryffindor tower. He could only hope that Remus hadn't heard what he had said. 

Still deep in thought he bumped into someone who was rushing in the same direction as him. 

"Oh, hey Marlene" he said happily. 

"Sirius, glad I caught you alone. I was meaning to ask you if we could hang out sometime. I have a lot to tell you about my summer." 

"Yeah sure, I'd like that. How about on Saturday at 4 in the library?" 

"Thats not soon enough. Im scared I'll loose all my courage by then"

"Alright, I suppose tomorrow would work too" 

"Perfect, thanks! I'll see you at lunch. Bye" 

She hurried off and Sirius quickly remembered that he had to get to class as well. 

Him and Marlene had become friends sometime last year. They had bonded over their shared love for music at first. 

Soon, however, they had both come to realize that they liked talking to each other about a lot more than just music. Both of them, but especially Sirius, often needed someone outside of his usual group of friends. 

Although he loved the three marauders, it was often easier to confide in Marlene about certain issues. She seemed to understand him and quickly caught onto which topics were to be avoided at all costs. 

She had likewise enjoyed confiding in him. How does she always put it? He thought. Ah yes: I like talking to you because I know you dont give enough shits to tell anyone else but care just enough to give good and solid advice. 

He chuckled at this, thinking back to some of the ridiculous things she had told him about her friend group. 

Wonder what it was she so urgently wanted to talk to him about tomorrow. He entered his class, obviously having come late. 

\----------

Remus was rather upset. It was his first full day out of the hospital and Sirius had just casually informed the group that he was meeting Marlene after class ended. 

"So, how come you and Marlene are meeting up?" James asked curiously. 

Remus was thankful that he didn’t have to ask. 

"She just wanted to catch me up on her summer." Sirius answered, not looking up from his parchment as he did. 

"Well that's a vague answer" Peter had joined the conversation, Sirius's answere having peaked his interest. 

"Peter's not wrong. You guys meeting up for a snog?" James was always rather blunt when it came to his questions. 

"No, nothing like that" 

Remus let out a quiet sigh of relief. He hadn't even noticed that he had been holding his breath in anticipation of Sirius's answere. 

"But-" James, who had opened his mouth to further question Sirius was cut off by their professor. 

"Mr. Potter, I do hope the four of you are talking about Transfigurations. It would be a shame if I would have to take points off of Gryffindor because you lot couldn't refrain yourself from gossiping in my class" 

James was blushing furiously "Sorry professor" he muttered. 

With that their conversation had come to an end, however, Remus was still somewhat dissatisfied with Sirius. 

As he continued working silently, although he kept throwing glances over at Sirius. Maybe he is meeting up with her because he likes her. He considered. He hasn't had a girlfriend yet, even though they constantly throw themselves at him. 

He continued contemplating the realtionship between the two when class ended and everyone began packing up their stuff. 

"We expect to get a detailed report at dinner when you return" James shouted after Sirius. 

The black haired boy, however, had already left the classroom, leaving the other three to look at each other in confusion. 

"That was slightly weird" Peter filled the silence. 

"Ta. Then again, when is our little dog ever not weird" James replied with a grin. 

"Come on you dollops, lets get out of here" was the only thing Remus could think to say. 

\----------- 

"Merlin my friends were being annoying today. Kept badgering me about why I was meeting up with you." 

Marlene laughed at this "and what did they decide was the reason for you coming here?" 

"They think I came for a snog" 

Marlene tried to stiffle her laugh, not wanting to get kicked out of the library. 

They had always felt more like siblings, thats why Marlene found it so funny. Romantic feelings had never been considered on either end. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" 

"Well, as always you're going to be the first person I tell so please dont have some weird reaction" 

"I promise I wont" Sirius said reassuringly. 

As he watched Marlene who was nervously biting her lip, he wondered what on earth she was going to tell him. 

"You said it had something to do with the summer break" he said, trying to get her started. 

"Right. Yes. Summer" she stuttered slightly. "So basically I met someone" 

"You met someone?" 

"Yes" 

"Marlene you're going to have to elaborate a bit, I can't read your mind" 

"Right well. You see we really hit it off and we hung out a lot. I hadn't really considered anything happening between us, I kind of thought we were just friends. But one night we were sitting by a fire and suddenly we started snogging and well... things escalated pretty quickly from there" 

"Did you finally lose your virginity?" Sirius gasped. 

"Yeah" Marlene replied blushing furiously 

"Marlene, I don't understand. Why would you be nervous tell anyone, that's great news! I'm really happy for you!" 

"Yeah well thats not really the part I'm nervous about telling people. You see it... I..." 

Tears began welling in her eyes. Sirius looked at her with concern. He had never seen her this close to crying before. 

"It's alright, you can tell me" he said reassuringly.

"It wasn't a boy" Marlene burst out. 

"What do you mean?" 

"It was a girl and her name was Selina. I slept with a girl." Marlene blurted out, hurriedly.

"Oh Marlene, you had me worried there for a minute" Sirius replied with a light laugh.

"So you're okay with this? I know pureblood families have a history of homophobia." 

"Yes well I'm not my family. No wonder you were so reluctant when I told you to go for it with that Hufflepuff boy" Sirius chuckled. 

Marlene laughed "Yeah. In hindsight it kind of makes sense that I'm a lesbian doesn't it? Can't belive I didn't figure it out sooner" 

In reply, Sirius got up and walked around the table. He stopped down and gave Marlene a huge hug. 

"Thanks for telling me"

She smiled.

\---------- 

That night, after all of them had already gone to bed, he sat in his bed staring off into the distance. 

She's a lesbian. He thought. Having been raised in the Black family he hadn't been exposed to other sexualities until he had come to Hogwarts. 

He had always thought being gay was something you instantly knew from when you were young, but Marlene had just told him otherwise. She hadn't realized until she had kissed a girl, he thought. I wonder of that means that I wont know for sure either until I try. 

He glanced over at Remus and then paused. Why had he just looked over at Moony while thinking about kissing boys? 

Considering this he glanced over again and almost jumped out of his bed as his eyes met Remus's. 

"Can't sleep?" Remus asked curiously. 

"Not really, just thinking about stuff" Sirius replied, glad that it was dark and Remus couldn't see him blushing.

"What kind of stuff?" 

"I... I can't talk about it right now Rem. I'll tell you some other time. Promise" 

"Okay. Good night Padfoot" 

"Night Rem" 

He couldn't really remember why he had started calling Remus Rem. It had probably started as an accident mixed with laziness, but Sirius had quickly realized that he liked the nickname. 

It souded nice in his mouth. And I like the fact that I'm the only one that calls him that, he thought to himself.

It had been a confusing day and Sirius tried to push away all these thoughts, hoping that everything would make more sense in the morning.


	4. Owls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First prank of the year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment any suggestions or questions :)

Remus was staring and he knew it, but he really didn't want to stop. 

They were sitting in the great hall and having dinner. Sirius, who had finished early, was trying to create a real life gingerbread man out of the desert. 

His creation was attempting to walk on its own while Sirius himself was finding little bits of food to stick on as decorations. 

While he was busy doing this, Remus was staring at his hands. He watched intently as those thin beautiful hands worked their magic. They moved quickly and surely, never once faltering. 

He really couldn't help himself, he just had to keep watching. Well, he probably could, he just didn't want to. I wonder what else those hands could maybe do, the thought suddenly popped into his head. 

Sirius finally realized that Remus was watching and grinned at him. In response, a blush started to creep its way onto Remus's cheeks. 

"Alright, I'm stuffed. Do we want to head back upstairs?". James had finally finished. 

Everyone nodded in agreement and began walking out of the great hall. Remus was grateful for the distraction. He honestly didn't know what was wrong with him recently. 

The full moon was rather far away so he couldn't blame his strange behavior on the wolf. He started to become grumpy. He hated it when he was bad at figuring out what was wrong with him. Frustratingly enough, that seemed to be the case almost all the time nowadays. 

"I think it's time we start planning our next pranks, don't you?" James said to no one in particular as they entered an empty corridor. 

This interupted Remus's thoughts. 

"Please, everything's been so boring lately. We need to liven this place up again" said Peter. 

"Right. I was thinking we plan something small for tonight. We don't have any homework due tomorrow so everyone should have time" 

James was glancing at Sirius as he said this. James really wasn't too great at subtlety. 

"Don't worry, Im free tonight" Sirius replied. 

With that they made their way to the dormitories. 

Once in their room and away from prying ears they settled onto the two beds in the middle. Peter had already joined James on his bed. That left the spot next to Sirius open. Remus sat down next to his friend, hoping that his thoughts would be respective enough not to get off topic. 

"Alright, time to brainstorm. I say we aim for something small first to warm up. Maybe even something we could do tonight." 

The brainstorming began. 

"Casting some spell on all the Slytherins. Maybe something to do with itching?" Peter suggested. 

"Did that during 2nd year" Remus replied 

"Sneak into the quidditch changing rooms and change the color of the slytherin robes?" Sirius threw into the room. 

"They won't notice until the first game. That's in a month" Remus instantly pointed out. 

This was how these meetings had always gone since they had started doing them. Remus was the most logical and also had the best memory. Because of this he was always the one in charge of pointing out the flaws in the plans or reminding everyone if they had already done one of them. 

"We could enchant all the owls. Maybe chnage their coloring so that wveryone gets a surprise tomorrow morning." James suggested. 

"Not bad, but maybe a bit boring" was Remus's reply. 

"I like the idea with the owls. It doesnt just target the slytherins but the other houses too" Peter noted. 

"We could change more than just the color" Sirius said, a smile forming on his lips. 

\---------- 

Sirius had just finished explaining the spells needed for the transformation of the owls. 

"We are going to need some supplies from the potions department" noted Remus who was sitting next to him. 

"What would we need?" Peter asked. 

"Well, we definitely need to make sure that the spells will wear off after tomorrow morning. Otherwise there are going to be a lot of angry students." 

"True, what exactly would we need? Peter and I can go get it while using the cloak. We'll hand it off to you two and you'll sneak up to the owlery and perform the spells." James decided. 

Remus explained what was needed to James and Peter and the two of them grabbed the cloak and disappeared. 

"Lets leave in 5 minutes" Remus said once the other two left. 

"Alright" was Sirius's only reply. 

He was trying to avoid eye contact with Remus. He had managed to not be alone with Moony in a while, not wanting him to question him anymore. 

"So" Remus broke the silence "are you finally going to tell me what's going on between you and McKinnon?" 

Sirius glanced up at his friend, slightly surprised. 

"Oh um" he said softly "I don't think I'm allowed to say, sorry Rem" 

"Oh, well alright then" Remus turned away from Sirius. 

Shit. Remus was hurt. Shit. This wasnt good. He didnt like keeping things from Remus and he liked it even less when he hurt him while doing so. He opened his mouth to say something but wasn't quick enough. 

"Come on, its time to go" 

Remus disappeared fout of the dorm room. Sirius jumped up and quickly followed. 

\---------- 

Sirius was a couple of steps behind him. They had cast silencing and disillusionment charms so barely anyone would notice them, but Remus was still very aware of Sirius. They stopped at the spot where they had decided to meet the other two. 

Suddenly, a floating hand popped out of no where. 

"Here you go" said James disembodied voice as he handed Remus what he had asked for. 

"Good luck" 

With that the hand disappeared and Remus was alone with Sirius once more. He walked off in the direction of the olwery, still not saying anything. 

He was hurt. He had though him and Sirius had a close relationship and that maybe, just maybe, Sirius would be jonest with him. 

The silence continued as they reached the owlery and was still very much prevalent as they left. 

On their way back to the dorms the found themselves walking down a seemingly empty corridor. Suddenly, Sirius barreled into him. 

"Oi" Remus began to protest. 

"Shh" was all Sirius said as he grabbed Remus by the arm and shoved him into a very tight adjacent broom closet. 

In the tight space Sirius signaled to be quiet and pointed at the map he was holding. Remus studied it and noticed the footsteps that were nearing their spot. It was Filch. 

Sirius quickly muttered a silencing charm. 

"Bloody hell, I hate that git". 

"Yeah" Remus agreed "Lets just hope he passes quickly." 

It was as if the universe had decided to make Remus's life as dificult as possible at the moment. It became quickly evident that Filch had decided to pace up and down this very hallway. 

"Shit. Doesn't look like he's leaving any time soon" Remus complained. 

He tried to ignore how close he was standing to Sirius. The shorter boy was raking one of his hands through his hair. Is he nervous? Remus thought to himself. 

"Look Rem, please dont be upset with me" Sirius uttered. 

"Why shouldn't I be Padfoot? I asked you about your family that day at Hogsmead and you promised. You promised you would stop pretending with me. And then that night in our dorm you promised that you would tell me what was wrong and what was going on with you. But here we are a couple weeks later and you still haven't explained yourself. And then today when I ask you about McKinnon all you did was lie to my bloody face. Merlins beard Padfoot, don't you trust me?" Remus had started to raise his voice, his face filled with desperation. 

"You're right" was all Sirius said. 

Remus paused at this. He had expected Sirius to yell back and tell him that it was none of his business, not this. 

"Oh" was Remus's reply. 

"I promised I would talk to you so I will." Sirius took a deep breath" I'm not together with Marlene. " 

Remus scoffed at this. 

"Im serious Rem. That wouldn't even be possible" 

"What do you mean?" Remus was confused now. 

"She's a lesbian. Like a full blown, only likes tits, lesbian. That was the reason why she wanted to talk to me. She just needed someone outside of her friend group to help her get her head straight. Me and her, we do that a lot. Talk about stuff thats a bit difficult to bring up, you know?" 

"Oh" 

Relief flooded through Remus. Marlene and Sirius weren't dating. Why this was so important to him he hadn't quite figured out yet. 

"Im sorry for being such a prick" Sirius continued and took a small step closer, absentmindedly brushing away a strand of hair so he could look Remus in the eye. 

Remus froze at this. He was suddenly very aware of his heartbeat and his breathing. He locked eyes with Sirius and a shiver went through him. 

Sirius noticed the shiver and a look of confusion and maybe even a bit of understanding crept across Sirius's face. 

"Filch is gone" Remus pointed at the map and hurried out of the broom closet, glad for the excuse to look away from Sirius. 

His heartbeat was unusally high at this point and his breathing somewhat ragged. Another thing for him to figure out later. 

The two of them quickly hurried back to the dorm, thankfully not getting caught in the process. 

\---------- 

Sirius sat gleefully at the breakfast table. 

"And what are you grinning at" inquired Lilly who sat down across from him next to Remus. 

James chocked on his toast next to him. 

"You'll see soon enough" he replied the smile growing even more. 

The other boys were all grining down at their food aswell. 

"Oh no, what have you lot dont this time." She sighed. 

She didn't have to wait long to find out. 

For the first couple of seconds no one noticed but then shouts erupted in the great hall and student began pointing up at the ceiling. The owls had arrived. 

Sirius drank in the glorious sight. They had changed the colors of all the owls, just like James had suggested, but they had also done so much more. 

With every beat of the wings each owl sprayed down heaps of confetti, the brightly colored paper slowly drifting through the air and spreading throughout the room. 

The best part was still to come. Remus had known a spell to make the owls mix up the people they were supposed to deliver the letters and packages to. Slowly shouts spread across the hall. People began getting up on their chairs, yelling the names of the students whose letters they had gotten. 

The yells of confusion and the commotion were turning the room into pure chaos. 

"You lot are horrid, you know that?" was Lilly's only comment. 

The boys all glanced at each other and burst out laughing. They started laughing even harder when Lilly, with her now confetti covered hair, revceived a letter addressed to a Margaret Lowell. They all watched gleefully as Lilly herself joined in eith the yells of people trying to deliver their letters to the right person. 

Seemingly haven given up after a couple of minutes, Lilly slumped back down next to Remus and sighed "I can't believe I am actually going to have to waste time looking for this girl. You're all pricks" 

Sirius started snickering at this. 

"Oh come on Lilly" Remus said all serious "Im sure you'll find her in no time. Oh and by the way" he added on "you've got a little something in your hair" he said pointing at the confetti. 

At this comment the boys burst out into a fit of laughter, Lilly on the other hand was looking rather annoyed. 

Mid laugh Sirius glanced over at Remus. The boy was doubled over with laughter. Sirius paused and stared at him. It hit him how beautiful Remus looked, pure joy written all over his face. He hadn't seen Remus this happy in a very, very long time. 

I am going to make him laugh like that again, he promised himself. I am going to make that beautiful boy laugh.

A determined look settled across his face.


	5. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has trouble sleeping.

After their conversation in the broom closet, the two have them had gotten back to normal.

Remus was incredibly glad about this. He hadn't quite realized how much the problems with Sirius had been weighing on him until that weight had disappeared. 

He was ripped out of his thoughts when the bell rang and class ended. Together, the boys packed up their stuff and walked out of the Transfigurations classroom. 

"Hurry up boys, I'm starving." said James .

"You're always starving Prongs, so it wont make a difference if we start lunch in 5 minutes or 10. Stop rushing me" was Sirius's retort. 

"Fine" James grumbled. "Oh look Padfoot! It's your gilfriend" he said, suddenly distracted.

Marlene was walking towards them. 

"Don't be such a prick. I already told you we are just friends." 

A couple days ago a pang of jealousy would have gone through Remus, but since he now knew what was really going on between the two, he felt weirdly smug. He realized with a jolt that he was very happy about the fact that he knew something about Sirius that James didn't. 

"Hey everyone. Mind if I join you for lunch?" Marlene said as she finally reached the group. 

"Not at all" said Remus. 

Sirius shot him a glance, silently thanking him for being so welcoming towards Marlene. 

"Come on. Lets hurry up before James starts eating his homework" Sirius said and started walking alongside Marlene towards the smell of food. 

\---------- 

Throughout lunch Sirius couldn't resist looking at Moony every couple of seconds. He had been very thankful that he had been so open towards Marlene joining them for lunch. He was also glad about the fact that Remus was purposefully occupying James with questions about Lilly so that he wouldn't annoy Marlene too much. 

"Why did you want to join us today?" Sirius asked out of curiosity.

"Well you talk about your friends so much even though I barely know them. Thought this way if something comes up I might be able to give you better advice if I know them better" was her reply. 

"Huh, suppose that makes sense." 

He glanced over at Remus to see that he was still deep in conversation with James and Peter. Sirius noted that Remus must be very passionate about whatever they were talking about seeing as he was wildly waving his hands around in the air. He turned his attention back towards Marlene. 

"I also have a small theory." she said with a mysterious smile on her face. 

"Oh? And what would that theory be?" said a now confused Sirius. 

"Well I cant tell you that. It would ruin all the fun. All you need to know is that I needed to know your friends a bit better to be able to prove it." 

"You know, sometimes I don't like you McKinnon. You have too many secrets" Sirius grumbled, acting playfully upset. 

Marlene laughed. 

"Yes well sometimes you can be pretty daft, my dear Sirius" 

She got up and left the table while laughing, leaving Sirius to contemplate what she had just said. He decided that he was going to try and corner her over the next few days and try to get it out of her. 

He glance over at Remus again. This time they made eye contact. He gave him a quick smile and returned to his food. 

\---------- 

It was past midnight and Remus was staring up at the ceiling. He hated these kinds of nights. He couldn't fall alseep and he had given up on trying half an hour or so ago. A couple beds over he heard who he thought was Peter snoring loudly. 

He sighed contemplating what he could think of. Thats what he did. On nights like these he would pick something that had been bothering him lately and try to work through it. It usually worked pretty well. There were no distractions and a lot of privacy for him and his thoughts, both of these things being rather rare when sharing a dorm and having all your classes with the same three boys. 

This nights topic was very, very easy to come up with. Sirius. 

He sighed. The past couple if weeks had been different, that was for sure. He thought back to some of the moments where it had been abundantly clear that something im their relationship had shifted. 

The night in the broom closet had been the most obvious one. He thought back to Sirius and how he had been raking his hand through his black hair. Thinking back to the moment he realized how attractive that movement had been, how mesmerizing. He also rememberd the feeling of Sirius's breath on his skin, how close they had been standing, the shivers that Remus had gotten. 

Although the conclusion of all of this was very obvious, Remus didn't want to put it into words. He didn’t want the undeniable truth to be real. He was scared. Scared of what this revalation might do to him. What it might do to their friendship. Sirius was one of his best friends and he would do anything to protect him, anything to keep him close by. 

However scary this is, he thought to himself, it won't do anyone any good for me to try and ignore it. 

He had learned this long ago. Ignoring or downplaying his mental problems had always made them worse instead of better. He knew that he would have to accept this if he wanted any chance of making this work. 

I am attracted to Sirius Black, he thought to himself. 

It sounded strange, even in his head. 

I like him as more than just a friend. 

Shivers went down his back. 

I might be bisexual.

I might be gay. 

A sound coming from his right ripped him out of his thoughts 

\---------- 

Sirius rolled around, trying to get into a more comfortable position. Now facing Remus, he opened his eyes. He was surprised to see that Remus was awake, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Hey" he said softly, trying not to scare the boy. 

"Oh, hey" Remus answered, turning over to meet Sirius's gaze. "Can't sleep?" 

"Not too well, what about you?" 

"I haven't been able fall asleep, a lot of stuff's been bothering me" 

Sirius sat up at this "what kind of stuff?". 

Remus sat up too "just stuff" he answered, avoiding Sirius's gaze. 

Sirius was very dissatisfied by this answere. Considering his options for a second he got up out of bed and walked over to Remus. He grabbed the blanket and got under it, now sitting across from Remus. 

"That was a shitty answered, try again" he said. 

Remus glanced at him "I don't really know how to put it into words." 

"Is it the wolf stuff?" Sirius hated that it was dark in the room. It made it really hard to read Moony's expressions. 

"Partially. It's also some other stuff" 

"C'mon Rem. You know you can talk to me." 

He reached out to brush away a strand of Remus's hair, trying to get a better look at his friend's eyes. A shiver went down his back as he did so. 

Although Remus tried to suppress it, Sirius noticed a shiver going down his spine as well. He scooched closer to Remus so that their kneew were touching. 

"If your not ready to tell me what's going on that's okay too. I just want you to know that I'm here and ready to listen when you are." he said softly "I'll always be here for you". 

"I know Padfoot" Remus replied softly. 

"Is there anything I can do to help you sleep better?" Sirius asked. 

Remus thought for a couple of moments. "Do you remeber what we used to do back in 2nd year?" he sounded slightly nervous. 

Sirius chuckled softly "of course I do. Come on then". 

With those words Sirius climbed across the bed and laid down with his head on the pillow. He rearranged the blanket for a bit before lifting it up, indicating that Remus was supposed to lie down next to him. 

They had done this when they had been 12 and Sirius had recently found out about Remus's furry little problem. He had always snuck into Remus's bed, trying to comfort him on the really bad nights.

He saw Remus hesitate for a couple of seconds before climbing under the blanket as well. Remus was facing away from him. Sirius thought about this for a couple of moments before scooching closer and wrapping his arm around Remus's waist. He pressed his face against Remus's shoulder and began drifting of. 

Seconds before he was asleep he took note of the way Remus's body felt pressed up against his own. 

\---------- 

"Wonder where Sirius was off too this early". 

James's voice ripped Remus out of his sleep. 

"Maybe he had some homework to catch up on?" was Peter's reply. 

"On a Saturday morning? Very unlikely. Hes probably off with that McKinnon girl". 

"Lets head to breakfast then. No point in staying here". 

Remus let out a relieved sigh as his two friends left the room, happy that they had decided not to wake him. 

Now that the room was silent he became very aware of his surroundings. Sirius's arm was still draped over his waist, but the rest of his body was closer than it had been last night. He could practically feel every inch of Sirius's body, as it pressed against his. 

He tried to ignore certain areas that he could notice, not wanting to think about that now. He slowly turned overy trying not to wake Sirius. He was now facing Sirius, glad that certain things weren't pressed against him anymore. He stared at his friend, noting how peaceful he looked while sleeping. His features looked very graceful, even when this realxed. He tried to memorize the face that was in fornt of him. Sirius had such a hard time with his family that it had become a rare occurrence to see him so at peace. 

Sirius began to stirr and slowed opend his eyes. He lazily smiled at Remus. 

"Morning Rem, sleep alright?" 

"Hey Padfoot, yeah I slept like a baby" was Remus's reply. 

"Im glad to hear. I hate it when you get dark cirlces under your eyes. It always worries me".

"Didn’t know you noticed those". Remus was trying to ignore how close they were and the fact that he could feel Sirius's breath as it brushed his face. 

"I notice a lot of things". 

Sirius's hand which was still draped over Remus's waist moved slightly, brushing some open skin right above Remus's hip. 

Remus took a sharp breath and his eyes accidentally dropped to Sirius's lips. 

Sirius smiled at him and started to move, getting up out of bed. 

"Im taking a shower, lets head to breakfast in 10 minutes. Im simply starving." 

With that he walked into the bathroom leaving Remus alone on his bed. Remus stared after him trying to make sense of what had just happened. 

He shook some very unruly thoughts out of his head and got up.


	6. Drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gryffindors play some drinking games ;)  
> Something finally happens!!

He had been avoiding Remus and he knew it. It hadn't necessarily been his fault though, he had just been very busy. 

The problem was, that since that night they had slept in Remus's bed, he hadn't been able to look Remus in the eye without blushing and having the intense urge to shove him against a wall. 

"Hey Padfoot" said James, ripping Sirius out of his thoughts "I've been lookign for you" 

"Oh well you found me. Whats up?" 

"Peter and I have been planning something. We thought it might be fun to play sole drinking games tonight" 

"Oh yes, because we have access to heaps of alcohol" Sirius rolled his eyes. 

"Well no need to be so sassy. We have obviously found a way around that little problem" replied James unfazed. 

"Alright, whos joining us?" 

"Well all of the Marauders, obviously, and then I invited Lilly, Dorcas, Mary and even Marlene" James grinned at him. "Marlene I obviously invited just for you" 

"As much as I appreciate your efforts to be a good wingman, I’ve told you countless times I'm not interested. Maybe you should direct your efforts towards someone else. Preferably Wormtail, he needs it the most." 

"Well, your not wrong there. Anyway, I still need to check on my potion before heading to the common rooms, Ill see you there. 

Watching James go, Sirius began contemplating whether tonight was a good idea or not. He was happy that James had atleast remembered to invite Marlene. If things got weird between him and Remus he could always talk to her. 

\----------- 

"Mental" said Remus shaking his head as he watched the other three boys. 

All of them were in panic mode. 

"Lilly is going to be here. In our room." James was screeming while tossing over so.e soxks in Peters direction. 

"The girls can't see our room in this state.  
Its ghastly." Peter said while hurriedly shoving 3 weeks worth of laundry under his bed. 

Remus was watching, an amused expression on his face. 

"Well lads, if only you would have kept your areas of the room somewhat orgenized and weren't living like a bunch of animals you wouldn't have this problem" 

"You sound like my mother" James grumbled under his breath, not meaning for Remus to hear it. 

"Very funny Prongs. I have good hearing, or have you forgotten?" 

James opened his mouth ready to retort when there was a knock at the door. 

Sirius jumped of off his bed and went to the door, swinging it open. 

"Good day to you ladies. Well dont just stand in the door, c'mon in."

The four girls had apparently all decided to come together. They entered the room, grabbing the drinks that Remus had begun passing out. 

"Well I say we get this party started" said Marlene sowning her drink in one go. 

They all settled in a circle on the carpet, those who had already finished their drink grabbing some more. 

"Anyone need a refill?" Remus offered, holding up the Firewhisky. 

After ensuring that everyone had enough to drink they began debiting which game to play. They settled on Never Have I Ever first, promising Mary that they would play Truth or Dare after. 

"I'll start, never have i ever had my first kiss" said Dorcas bravely. 

Everyone began raising their drinks to their lips, smirking at each other. Only Peter and Dorcas left their drinks untouched. 

They continued in a circle. 

"Never have I ever been skinny diping" said James who had been sitting to the left of Dorcas.  
No one moved a muscle except for Remus who was desperately trying to take the mlst subtle drink imaginable. 

"No bloody way" said James pointing at him and with that Remus's attempts at subtlety went out the window. 

Everyone turned towards Remus mouths open. 

"Who knew that our inoccent Remus had some dirty little secrets" said Lilly, giggling. 

Remus glanced over at Sirius. His mouth was hanging open and he was looking at Remus in an expression of wonder. All Remus did was smirk at him before focusing on the game again. 

They continued for a while, some small secrets being revealed, but nothing too notable. 

It was Lilly's turn when things finally got interesting again. This was partly due to the fact that all of them were extremely tipsy by this point. 

"Never have I ever lost my virginity" she said. 

Remus scoffed. He thought that this one was way to easy seeing as he knew the answer for everyone in the room. 

As expected Mary and Marlene took large gulps of Firewhisky. 

"Oi Padfoot, you got to drink mate." said James, pocking Sirius in the side with his elbow. 

Sirius just looked at James, still not raising his drink. 

"Wait, does this mean?" Peter wasn't able to finish the sentence. 

"With the amount of girls that have chased you around this castle there is no bloody way you still haven't shoved your prick in one of them" James said. 

"There have been about a million rumours." Dorcas added on to this. 

"Yes, well I have never actually confirmed any of thoae rumours, now have I" Sirius replied. 

Remus was just staring at Sirius, his brain working wildly to digest this new piece of information. Over the years there had been countless of girls, or so Remus had thought. Thinking back to it, however, he began to realized that he had never once heard Sirius confirm or deny any of these rumours. He wondered what this might mean. He decided to push away these thoughts and save them for a time when he was a bit less intoxicated. 

He turned his attention back towards the game.

\------------ 

Sirius was happy that the attention had finally shifted away from him. He hated himself for revealing that he was still a virgin, but there was no going back now. 

Luckily for him they seemed to have finally mived on from Never Have I Ever and had decided to play Truth or Dare. He liked this game a lot more. 

He volunteered to go first "Alrighty. Lilly, truth or dare?". 

"Im sure as hell not picking dare" she answered, her words slurring together slightly. 

"Well alright then. Lets see" he said, carefully considering his options "Lilly, have you ever felt at least the tiniest bit of a sexual attraction towards our dear James here?" he asked. 

Everyone in the group started giggling. It had been obvious taht the question would involve James. James was blushing violently, throwing quick glances up at Lilly while nervously waiting for her answer. 

Lilly was almost just as red as James and after having taken a large sip said "yes I have". 

They continued on, Lilly asking Mary the next question after she had picked truth. "Mary, would you ever consider dating anyone in this room?" 

"No" she answerd very quickly, the four boys all looking somewhat offended by how fast she had answerd. 

"Oi, whats wrong with us?" Remus asked in a joking way. 

Mary laughed and proceeded to give Marlene a dare. "I dare you to give Lilly a lap dance" 

Marlene, being a very exentric (and a very gay) person obliged happily. She went all in, grinding and circling her hips on Lilly's lap in time to the music. 

Sirius watched, bemused at how much Marlene was enjoying it. Peter and James couldn't keep their eyes off of what was happening, but as Sirius's gaze reached Remus the boy's made eye contact. 

His heart suddenly seemed to be beating a bit faster. It was probably the alcohol, he told himself. 

After Marlene had finished her little performance she turned to Sirius "Alright Sirius, you know the question, now whats it gonna be?". 

"I will be picking truth" he replied, preparing himself for what was about to come. 

"Perfect, I already have a question ready just for you. Now tell us, have you ever had a sex dream about anyone in this room?" she asked gleefully. 

Sirius just threw her an annoyed glance. He felt a blush beginning to creep up his neck. 

"Yes, as a matter of fact I have" he replied. 

James and Peter instantly began debating whther the dream had been about Mary or Marlene. 

He looked over at Marlene, wondering why exactly she had asked him this particular question and why she had already had it in mind for him. Marlene only shot him a 'I knew it' type of look, this further confusing him. 

He decided that he would think about all that tomorrow and began looking for the next target. "Come on lads, settle down. It's really no big deal. Now Remus, you have been awfully quiet. Truth or Dare?" he met Remus's gaze and gave him a quick smile. 

"I will be going with truth. I don't think I could handle getting up to do anything right now" 

"Fair enough. Going with the theme that Marlene started, have you ever jerked off while thinking about someone in this room?" 

Although it was a good question, he thought that he might have wasted it on Remus. He had never given any hints tgat he liked anyone in this group, or any girl really in the entire school. The boys had kind pf just asumed that he thought of someone famous. 

Remus muttered some incoherent answere. 

"Speak up, we cant hear anything" said Peter. 

"I said yes, I have" Remus said loudly, blushing and looking at the floor as he did so. 

"What?" shouted Lilly at the same time as James spilled his drink all over himself. 

"Hold up, did Remus just say what I think he said?" said Peter. 

Sirius couldn't do anything excpet for stare in shock. He definitely had expected a different answer. 

All Remus did was avoid eye contact with everyone in the room. 

They continued playing until everyone was thoroughly wasted. 

Sometime later, as the girls were getting ready to head back to their room, Marlene pulled him aside for a quick chat. 

"I just wanted to let you know that Remus left" 

Confused Sirius glanced at his friends and noticed that Marlene was right. 

"I think he went to the window thats at the end of the hallway" she said and withouth firther explanation left the room. 

Sirius stood there for a couple of seconds before following the girls out of the room.

\------------ 

He had needed some fresh air to clear his head so he had left the room. He had always liked the small window that was situated at the end of the boys hall. It was around a corner and nicely tucked away, out of sight from the anyone walking down the hall. His head was pounding because of the alcohol. 

"Hey" 

He startled at the noise, not having noticed soemone walking around the corner. 

"Mind if I join?" Sirius asked. 

"No not at all" was all Remus could think to reply. 

"So tonight was interesting" Sirius said quietly, staring out the window. 

"Yeah it really was." 

"You know" Sirius said with a smile "I've been trying for the life of me to figure out which one of us you jack off to and cant seem to. Any chance you want to give me a clue" 

"Oh bugger off. There's no way I'm telling you" 

Remus playfully shoved Sirius away by his shoulders. Sirius who had been calmly leaning against the wall, suddenly began to move. He reached up and grabed both of Remus's wrists which were still placed on Sirius's shoudlers, due to the shove. 

"C'mon Moony, I thought we tell each ither everything" Sirius said quietly. 

Remus couldn't answere because he was desperately trying to control his breathing. This, however, was proving to be rather difficult. Sirius was standing so very close to him and he was still gripping his wrists very tightly. The entire situation was very suggestive and Remus was having a hard time dealing with it. Calm down you little fucker, he thought to himself. 

He glanced at Sirius, their eyes meeting. He was suddenly aware that Sirius seemed to be breathing rather strangely. They had also been standing in silence for a couple of seconds now and it was beginning to besome a bit awkward. 

Remus opened his mouth, trying to think of something to say when suddenly Sirius collided with his face. 

His first thought was that Sirius must have tripped or something. Then, however, he suddenly came to the realization that Sirius was kissing him. Sirius Black was kissing him, Remus Lupin. 

Remus kissed him back, pushing his body closer against Sirius, wanting to show him how eager he was. 

Sirius bit his bottom lip, making Remus gasp by the sudden pleasure. 

As if the gasp had woken Sirius up, he suddenly yanked his lips off of Remus's. 

"Oh... I.. I... I'm so sorry" Sirius stuttered before turning and running away. 

"Wait" Remus yelled, but Sirius was already gone. 

He hurried back to their dorm, hoping he'd find Sirius lying in his bed. He wasn't there. 

Oh I've fucked up, he thought to himself.


End file.
